Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
