everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
