I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
