If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
