guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
