Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
