I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
