Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
