Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
