I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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