Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
