wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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