i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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