OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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