Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
