There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
what is it with giant penises always finding me
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
