Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
