yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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