Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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