When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Randomize
