don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm always down for nudity.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
