how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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