my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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