Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
