Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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