She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I'm always down for nudity.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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