he puts the penis in happiness.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
