No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
