i already hear my dad disowning me
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
