dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
