It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
