Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
