their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
