omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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