I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
