i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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