I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
