Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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