Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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