you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
