she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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