dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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