A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
