so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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