We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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