ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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