Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
