The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
