there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
