One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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