what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
